On Leisure

School’s out and families are embarking on summer vacations, sending kids to camp, or just chilling at home. While vacations are great for rest and relaxation, it’s important to make time for fun and recreation on a regular basis. I’ve written about leisure as an essential need before, but I recently neglected that need for myself and felt the detrimental effects to my mental and emotional health.

I was in the middle of four full days of training away from home when emotional exhaustion hit me like a ton of bricks. I was with a group where most of the other participants had already met and spent time together, and even though everyone was friendly and open, I felt like an outsider. I became sensitive to a few interactions that day, feeling slighted even though my rational mind knew none of it was personal. Still, I was hurt. By the end of the second day, I couldn’t wait to leave, and as I walked out, I felt a swell of tears trying to break free. 

I could tell that my energy was depleted, and I needed to focus on taking care of myself, but I wasn’t sure exactly which of my essential needs wasn’t being met because I was already emotionally dysregulated. The feeling stuck with me, even though I was moving my body, walking outside on a beautiful sunny day with a view of the harbor, something that would normally lift my mood. That wasn’t enough on that day.

I was staying with a friend, and we went to get a drink and talk; however, that didn’t make me feel better either. When we came home, she asked if I was interested in watching something on Netflix. We watched a couple episodes of a new show, sitting silently without any need for converstaion. I stopped feeling bad about my day, and when I went to bed that night, I noticed a marked improvement in my mood.

I thought back on the day and recalled that I had woken up very early, read my book, answered emails, and taken care of other tasks before heading into a full day of training. I didn’t get enough sleep, and I started my day productively without ever taking a real break. The missing ingredient, the unmet need, was down time, or leisure.

The following day I changed up my morning routine, staying away from my laptop and even my book, and just had a chill morning, engaging in self-care by giving myself a manicure. And although I had another long day of training, my mental health improved, and I was free of distress and anguish.

A surprising insight I’ve gained in the last few months is that I need to make a regular and conscious effort to cultivate time for leisure. You would think that since I’m not working full time, my days would be filled with a mix of fun and rest, but the reality is that I’ve devised and discovered a slew of new projects, activities, and tasks to take the place of my job. These are of my own choosing, but they still take a good deal of effort and time. When I keep going nonstop without incorporating leisure into my days, bad things happen.

What Counts As Leisure?

Merriam-Webster defines leisure as: 

freedom provided by the cessation of activities,

especially: time free from work or duties.

Let’s unpack that. First of all, leisure time includes the feeling or perception of freedom. Second, it includes an element of autonomy, meaning that you have the ability to make choices about how you spend your time. Third, it’s driven by intrinsic motivation—you do it for your own satisfaction and fulfillment, without regard for external reward or validation. 

Based on this definition, it’s crucial to highlight that leisure is fundamentally subjective, and can vary from person to person. While it can consist of literally doing nothing, a passive activity consuming or resting, it may also take a physically or mentally active form or be social, spiritual, or creative in nature. For example, cooking can be leisurely for me, while others might consider it a chore. Similarly, many people find gardening relaxing, while others find it laborious. Only you know what constitutes leisure for you. When do you feel the most free and lose track of time?

What’s So Important About Leisure?

As I mentioned earlier, leisure is an essential human need that improves our overall well-being, going far beyond mere enjoyment. Although it may seem counterintuitive, leisure refreshes us and boosts focus, creativity, problem solving and productivity. It helps to ward off stress, anxiety, and depression, due in no small part to the “distraction hypothesis,” which suggests that getting absorbed in an activity that allows for a flow state helps us to forget worries and reset our brains, resulting in improved cognitive function. 

Research shows that leisure activities can improve physical health, reducing the severity of disease and enhancing physiological function. On top of that, it helps to foster social connection, relationships, and personal growth.

When leisure is neglected, the costs can be high, as I have experienced first hand. Working under stress for prolonged periods without rest can lead to burnout, harming engagement and productivity, and costing organizations billions of dollars per year due to work absences, medical costs, and reduced output. In particular, when we spend too much time in front of screens, it can have a negative cognitive impact, sometimes referred to as “digital dementia,” such as reduced attention span, executive function, and working memory.

Why It’s A Challenge

As enjoyable as leisure time is, it’s not always at the top of our priorities. In our hustle culture, where success is defined by money and other tangible outputs, society glorifies constant activity and busyness, valuing being constantly “on.” This leads to a constant cycle of striving. We shun relaxing because it gives us productivity guilt—the feeling of not doing enough—and leisure guilt—confusing it with laziness and wastefulness.

It’s hard to take true breaks, especially if you are accustomed to always working at a fast pace or high intensity, as I was in my many years in the tech industry. In our constantly connected society, we may also suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out) and anxiety when we are not connected.

How To Cultivate More Leisure

Making time for leisure is a habit that requires active maintenance, and it may start with a fundamental mindset shift—training our brains to view rest as productive and challenging societal norms and guilt. Think of it as preventative healthcare and an investment in your long-term well-being. Here are a few ways to ensure you are getting the R&R you need:

• Be intentional about scheduling leisure time—putting it on your calendar—and commit to showing up

• Set digital boundaries by turning your phone off at designated times and maintaining device-free spaces in your home to give yourself a break from pings and temptation 

• Incorporate micro-leisure into your day by taking short, intentional breaks like a short walk, an enjoyable read, listening to a single song, or simply observing nature can be surprisingly effective at enhancing focus.

If you’re aware that you could use more leisure in your life, maybe start small by adding just 5 minutes today, and pay attention to the transformative power of leisure.